Life is a Gift

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Most people rarely consider our very life as a work of God. In fact, we rarely think about life at all (we’re born, grow up and die). Many folks sadly believe an unborn baby isn’t a human life. Atheist Richard Dawkins tweeted back in 2013 that an unborn baby is less human than a pig! [March 13, 2013].

As Christians, we affirm what God’s Word reveals to us about when a baby becomes human life. Scripture tells us that God knows us before He forms us in the womb (Jeremiah 1:5). In Psalm 139:13-16 says,

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed. [New Living Translation]

God clearly instructs us that unborn babies are human at the time of conception. Are some people really more human than others? Of course not! God’s Word is clear: everyone, even unborn babies, are made in the image of God. That’s the message our culture needs to hear as America this month ponders the devastating effects of the 1973 Roe v Wade U.S. Supreme Court Decision which legalized abortion: the loss of over 55,000,000 human lives to abortion. Today join us in prayer and action to create a more life-affirming nation, promoting alternatives to abortion, and changing the culture that sees abortion as necessary.

Domestic Adoption Support Group, Nov 29th

little-boy-thoughtBen, who is 28 years old and works in a large church ministry  in SC,  was adopted shortly after birth and learned of his adoption story from his parents when he was four years old.  He has dealt with feelings of  grief and loss.  In addition he has had a  desire to know more about his birth family.

You may want hear how someone who grew up in a Christian family could have adoption-related issues.  He will share what he believes you, as adoptive parents, can do to help your child have a more positive sense of self.  If you have adopted internationally,  you  may also want to attend.

Ben has suggestions as to what he believes parents can say and how they can respond to their children’s questions and desire to search for their birth families.

This Adoption Support Group meets every 4th Monday of month at the Vine Community Church, Taylors, SC.

For more information contact Laura Godwin at Nightlight 864 268-0570 or Laura@nightlight.org

Post Adoption Support Group for Domestic Adoptive Parents

Domestic Adoption: Post- Monthly Adoption Discussion Group

October 25, 2010 7:00 p.m.  and every 4th Monday of the Month

The Vine Community Group

4373 Wade Hampton Blvd.

Taylors, SC 29687

For more information contact Laura Beauvais-Godwin at laura@nightlight.org

Those who adopt domestically may feel that for the most part their children are happy and well-adjusted, and for most families that is true. Regardless if you have been adjusting well or having issues, you can find it useful to talk about of the special issues related to being an adoptive family,

Each week we will address one of the issues in adoption plus any issues that you would like to address:

  • Loss
  • Rejection
  • Guilt and Shame
  • Grief
  • Identity
  • Intimacy
  • Mastery /control

Here are just some specific questions/issues that you may be thinking about:

  • Openness in adoption in a technological world—Will Facebook change the way my child relates to her birthparents?
  • I have a biological child and an adopted child; how will my children feel about this?
  • How can I answer my child, when he asks, “Why didn’t my birthmother keep me?
  • What are some issues we will face when my child goes to school?
  • Our children do not look us, and people sometimes make some interesting remarks. How do I handle these comments?
  • I feel that my other family members treat my kids differently. What can I do?
  • How do I tell my children about the circumstances of his placement?
  • My child feels rejected by his birth mom; how can I help him?
  • My daughter is going to have a baby, and I have never given birth, how do I face this situation?
  • My child wants to seek her birthmother, how should I respond?

In the weeks ahead we will have adult adoptees and birthparents come and talk about their experiences.

“Adopt: The Option” – New Adoption Education DVD for youth groups

Guest post by Ron Stoddart, Executive Director of Nightlight Christian Adoptions.


AdoptTheOption
Did you know that fewer than 1% of babies born to single mothers are placed for adoption? Did you know that although most teens believe adopting is a good thing to do, few believe they could carry a baby for 9 months and then “give it up” for adoption.

These are startling statistics and reflect how many young mothers place more emphasis on their own needs rather than the needs of their children. (Of course, some single mothers are capable and prepared to parent – but do you believe 99% of single mothers are ready?)

We are very pleased to announce that a new youth group curriculum promoting adoption within teen peer groups is now available for Youth Directors nationwide. Adopt: The Option is a DVD based program developed by Connect the Family with support from Nightlight Christian Adoptions and Generations Adoptions in Texas.

We need to get this vital resource into the hands of our youth directors as quickly as possible – and you can help! Order a copy (or two) and present it to the Youth Director at your church. Even though this DVD program is only $25, youth programs are typically tight on funds, especially near the end of the year. Whether you have a teen in a youth program or not, this would be a great way to support your church’s youth ministry.

Thank you for stepping forward to help in this important effort to educate our young people about the alternative of adoption.

Sincerely,

Ron Stoddart
Executive Director
Nightlight Christian Adoptions

Adoptive family Christmas testimony

AdoptUsKids, an initiative of the Children’s Bureau (part of HHS), is a national database of children awaiting adoption and families approved to adopt. Their website allows families to search for children and workers to search for families throughout the United States. The following is a guest post from AdoptUsKids. We encourage you to prayerfully consider this avenue of adoption in addition to the services Nightlight offers.

stevens_lgMy name is Phyllis Stevens and my husband and I are the proud parents of five children: one birth son and four who we adopted.

My kids know that Thanksgiving and Christmas are our favorite times of the year, as these are the times that we get together as a family. We spend our time reminiscing about growing up in the Stevens home. My son (who is now 27) still loves to tell the story about the time when he knocked over the Christmas tree when he was six, and then ran up the stairs to his bedroom and jumped in bed, pretending to sleep. Or the time he got so mad with his brother that he broke the arms off his eye glasses, but then, feeling guilty, put them back together using paper clips.

Over the years many people have asked me, knowing what I know now, if I would do it all over again. Would I adopt children that were born drug addicted, mentally challenged, children with ADHD and Fetal Alcohol Disorder? And, knowing what I know now, I say yes. Yes, because every child deserves a loving, supportive home. And yes, because all four of my adopted children turned out to be happy, functional adults and have provided me with more joy and happiness than I could imagine. Continue reading

Adoption and other secrets kept from American teenagers

In a recent Los Angeles Times article entitled “No Secret: Another Teen TV Show, Another Teen Pregnancy,” Yvonne Villarreal writes regarding the way Hollywood depicts teenage pregnancy. Certainly, contemporary television and the movies address pregnancy,  and some movies (Bella and Juno) have, in spite of coming out of Hollywood, presented adoption positively.

Teenage-Pregnancy-2This is a far cry from what we had been exposed to in years past. I swore that all the characters were infertile: they had carefree sex but neither used birth control nor got pregnant. Still, what Hollywood is not telling us is that about half of teenagers have sex, and those that do pay the cost: one-third of teenage girls get pregnant. Children also pay the cost: 38 percent of all births are to single women, and kids who grow up in a single parent home usually grow up in poverty. Continue reading

“Ingratitude” and an adoptee’s search for her birthmother

LookingForMyBirthmotherOver at Focus on the Family’s Boundless Webzine, Kimberly Eddy has written an article called “Looking for My Birthmother”.

Here’s an excerpt:

Many people are under the erroneous assumption that an adoptee’s desire to search for their biological family is rooted in some sort of ingratitude towards the sacrifices their adoptive parents have made for them. Others assume that the adoptive parents must have been inadequate as parents to cause their adult child to want to search.

The thing is, an adoptee’s desire to search is not about their adoptive parents; it’s usually about a longing to understand their own roots, or at least to get some much-needed medical history.

I recommend the whole article, although (at least for me) it was a bit hard to follow the progression of events.

Open to openness in adoption

[The following post is by Laura Godwin, director of Carolina Hope Christian Adoption. This article is adapted from The Complete Adoption Book, co-authored by Laura and her husband, adoption attorney Ray Godwin.]

Girl_smilesMany prospective adoptive parents ask whether our agency requires all parents and birth families to participate in an open adoption.
Although openness is not an absolute requirement, we do expect families to be “open” to an open adoption.

First, let’s define openness. Openness in adoption means some level of communication between the adoptive parents and the birth parents. In addition, it can also mean that the child, as he matures, also communicates with the birth parents.

So when we require families to be open to openness, we mean that the adoptive parents should be willing to meet with the birth mother before the baby is born, be with her at the hospital, and provide her with pictures and letters after the child is placed with them.

Thoughts of meeting a birth mother while she is pregnant (and perhaps the birth father, too) can, understandably, cause great anxiety. Everyone is nervous about meeting; it is only normal. Continue reading