OPEN ADOPTION

What is your agency’s philosophy about open and closed adoptions?

Our agency will only complete open adoptions as we believe it is the healthiest situation for all members of the adoption triad (i.e., birthparents, adoptee, and adoptive parents). We are open to creating a dialog and educating families who are apprehensive about open adoption. However, if after discussing the possibility of open adoption, you strongly feel that you would like to have a closed adoption, you may want to work with another agency.

Why choose open adoption?

The purpose of open adoption is to comfort and encourage the birthmother with the knowledge of her child’s well-being. It provides answers for your child, minimizing their loss of relationships by maintaining and celebrating the child’s connections with all the important people in his or her life. Open adoption also empowers you in raising your child, by providing knowledge about your child’s birth family and their family medical history. During the homestudy, you will learn of the many positive aspects of open adoption and your social worker will discuss with you the contact arrangement you are most comfortable with. It is very important that you be honest and open with your social worker about the type of relationship you envision with your child’s birthparents before birth, after you bring your child home and throughout your child’s life.

What varying degrees of contact are available in open adoption?

Open Adoption encompasses a broad spectrum of contact between the birth and adoptive family. The Child Welfare Information Gateway, http://www.childwelfare.gov/, has articles on open adoption that we suggest you read as you begin praying about what level of openness you are comfortable with. You may also want to look into adoption support groups in your area or go online to talk to families who have open adoptions, as most couples are apprehensive in the beginning when considering open adoption and become more comfortable as they become educated about what it means to your child, your family and your birthparents.

THE MATCHING PROCESS

When does Nightlight begin matching us with a birthmother?

Once all your paperwork has been received, your Social Worker has completed all your visits and approved your homestudy, and we have received your “Dear Birthmother” letters and photo albums we can begin showing your profile to birthmothers.

What criteria is a birthmother considering when selecting a family for her child?

When selecting an adoptive family who will love and parent her child a birthmother considers: ethnicity, religion, marital status and length of marriage, any previous marriages, age of parents, any other children in home, employment status of parents, financial stability, compatible personalities, and openness to ongoing contact with the birth family before and after the child’s birth.

What parameters may an adoptive couple set before their profile is shown to a birthmother? During the homestudy your social worker will ask you what factors you are willing to accept in a child’s history. These factors include: ethnicity, exposure to drugs/alcohol/tobacco, disabilities, gender, birthparent expenses, birthfather participation, and requests for ongoing contact with the birthmother throughout the child’s life.

Do you allow adoptive couples to specify the sex of the infant they wish to adopt?

Yes, depending upon your other criteria we may allow you to specify the sex of the child. However please be advised that by doing so you limit the opportunities we have to present your profile, and your wait to be matched with a birthmother will likely increase.

Will you notify us when you are showing our profile?

Generally we do not notify you when we are showing your profile as the wait to be matched is often a roller coaster of emotions and we do not want to cause further distress in the event that you are not chosen. If we have a question as to whether you would like us to show your profile to a birthmother with a unique situation we will notify you so you can determine if you would like to be presented.

What happens when a birthmother chooses to meet us?

Her social worker will contact you to schedule a meeting that will typically be held in our office and allows both parties to have an opportunity to meet and get to know a little bit about each other. We will request that you bring a small gift (i.e. flowers, scented lotion/bath products, etc.) for the birthmother. The morning after the meeting, the social worker will check in with both parties to see how they felt the meeting went and it will then be determined if it is a match.

If we are engaging your services for an Interstate Adoption with birthmother screening and matching how will this process differ?

We will do our best to help a birthmother get to know you through e-mail or phone calls; however you will need to be prepared to travel to California if she would like to meet you before the baby is born.

What if we are matched with a birthmother through another source?

Notify our office and your Social Worker immediately. Depending upon the specific situation, you may qualify for a modified adoption in which we can provide your birthmother counseling services. If the situation is one in which our agency will no longer be involved in your adoption, we will place your file on hold until we receive notification that your adoption is finalized. Once the child has been in your home one year, contact our office to discuss your future adoption plans.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIRTHPARENTS

How do birthparents come to Nightlight?

Most of our birthmothers are referred to us by Pregnancy Resource Centers, Crisis Pregnancy Centers, Maternity Homes, Hospital Social Workers, Attorneys and Churches with whom we have established relationships. Other birthmothers may find us through referrals from friends, the internet or phone book.

What age are the children placed for adoption?

We typically place newborns in our domestic program. It is rare for an older child to be placed through private adoption.

Does the birthmother have a counselor that she works with?

Yes. She will have a social worker as long as she is involved in an agency adoption whether it is an agency, modified or interstate adoption.

How much counseling does the birthmother receive prior to and following the child’s birth?

It depends upon the stage of pregnancy she is in when she comes to work with our agency and what her needs are. The earlier in her pregnancy, the more opportunity her social worker will have to provide counseling. These visits may occur weekly, bi-monthly or monthly depending upon her needs. At minimum, the state requires that she meet with the social worker twice; once to go over the adoption process and the forms she will sign and again after birth to review and sign the relinquishment documents.

Are birthmothers drug/alcohol tested before they are matched with prospective adoptive parents?

No. This is something that the birthmother generally discusses with her social worker. If you are not open to a birthmother with a history of substance abuse you would not be matched with a birthmother who had used drugs/alcohol during the pregnancy.

Are we given the birthparent’s medical/general background information? If so, when do we receive it?

Birthparents are given an information form to fill out that includes social and medical history information. They will also sign an authorization to allow the agency to share medical information with you. After the baby has been placed in your home we will provide you with a copy of what has been provided, as well as a birthparent summary written by her social worker. When we receive the copies of the hospital records (approx. 3 months after birth) we will provide you with copies for your child’s pediatrician.

Will we be at the hospital when the baby is born?

Your birthmother will create a Hospital Plan with her social worker which indicates her wishes for her time in the hospital. She will decide if she wants you at the hospital when the baby is born and/or, depending on the relationship you develop, whether she would like either of you in the delivery room.

What is expected of us at the hospital?

You must remember that the hospital stay is your Birthmother’s time with the baby. It serves as her time to confirm she is making the right decision to place the baby for adoption and gives her, the birthfather and their family an opportunity to say good-bye. You need to be respectful of the emotions she is going through and her wishes for her time in the hospital. Her social worker will help guide you through this.

Do we bring our birthmother a gift?

Yes. Birthmothers give the greatest gift a person can give and there is nothing you can give your birthmother that can compare to the gift she is giving you. Generally, we encourage you to give her something that signifies the relationship that has been established between all members of the triad. You will learn more about what this means from your social worker and during the Domestic Adoption Decisions class.

When does California law say the relinquishment can be signed?

A birthmother can sign the relinquishment anytime after she has been medically discharged from the hospital. She may choose to sign it at the hospital or in the comfort of her home.

At what point can we bring the baby home?

Once the baby has been medically discharged and the birthmother has signed the discharge paperwork.

If we are completing an Interstate Adoption how long will we need to stay in California (or the receiving state)?

You will need to stay about a week until the Interstate Compact paperwork has been approved by both states and you are able to return home with your baby.

How long does the birthmother have to decide to parent her child/“change her mind” ?

When a birthmother and/or birthfather signs a relinquishment of the child to the agency, they have a minimum of 24 hours or until the close of the following business day to contact the agency and regain custody. At the end of this period the relinquishment is filed and acknowledged by the California Department of Social Services, terminating her parental rights.

What is Special Baby Care?

When a baby has been born and the birthmother has not yet decided if she will parent or place the child for adoption, we have certified families who will temporarily care for the child.

What rights does the birthfather have under California law?

A birthfather will generally fall into one of two categories, presumed or alleged. A presumed father is a man who is married to the birthmother or who has actively exercised his parental rights throughout the pregnancy. His rights are the same as those of the birthmother. An alleged father has fewer rights, but must be notified of the adoption plan. The birthfather’s rights must be terminated in order for your adoption to proceed. It is important to discuss with the agency or with your attorney the birthfather’s rights in your specific situation.

EXPENSES AND FINANCING

What would you estimate the cost for the adoption to be?

The fees for our services range from $2,600 for a homestudy to $16,100 for an Agency Adoption (see the Agreement for Adoption Services). You may incur birthmother expenses, for which you would set a budget. In addition, you may have some expenses involved in terminating the rights of the birthfather. You will also need to hire an attorney for the finalization of the adoption. In general, depending upon the individual characteristics of your adoption, your total cost may be approximately $20,000.

What birthmother expenses might we expect?

Legally families can provide for any pregnancy related expenses for the birthmother. You will have set a budget and discussed this with your social worker during the homestudy process. These expenses may include but are not limited to: rent, utilities, groceries, maternity clothes and medical expenses.

If the birthmother decides to parent her child, are we reimbursed any monies we have paid on her behalf?

No. Anything you have provided to the birthmother is considered a gift under California law. However, you are able to apply these monies to the tax credit as a disrupted adoption. Please refer to the next question.

Is there financial assistance available?

• Tax Credit - Tax Benefits for Adoption (enabled by the Hope for Children Act) has opened up a window of opportunity for many families who previously found the financial obstacles to adopting to be insurmountable. The Act provides a tax credit (not a deduction) of up to $10,160 per adopted child and applies to both domestic and international adoptions. Adopting families with combined incomes of $150,000 or less can qualify.

• Employee Benefits - Many companies are beginning to offer Adoption Benefits to their employees. The company may reimburse some of the adoption expenses paid by the employee, or they may offer paid adoption leave. Check with your Human Resources department to see if your company provides adoption benefits.

There are also other organizations that offer a similar program such as:

The National Council for Adoption has created an Adoption Loan Program to help families with the financing of their adoption.

Kingdom Kids Adoption Ministries' Adoption Fundraising Program Child Adoption Funds

• Other - There are also many links to adoption assistance available on the internet:

Brittany’s Hope links to several sources of financial assistance for adoption.

National Adoption Foundation provides direct grants, loans and a National Adoption Foundation Credit Card.

ELIGIBILITY

Nightlight Christian Adoptions is licensed by the California Department of Social Services to select suitable families for children needing adoption. The selection of adoptive parents is based on their eligibility to meet state and agency requirements, their capacity for adoptive parenthood, and the availability of children whose needs they can meet.

Residence: Nightlight can perform Agency Adoptions only for families living within Southern California. Other Domestic adoption services are available to families throughout the United States. Please contact our office for specific details.

Religion: Applicants must be committed to providing their child with a constructive, wholesome and spiritual home environment.

Health: Adoptive applicants must give evidence of good health, both physical and mental, which will be verified during the application process by medical examinations and psychological evaluations.

Age: None; however, birthmothers tend to prefer families in their 30’s or early 40’s.

Marriage: Adoptive applicants are required to have been married a minimum of three years when the homestudy begins. We hope this period will provide the couple sufficient time to establish a home, financial security, and to adjust to the marriage as well as to each other. Married applicants must have a satisfying and secure marriage. Single parents are eligible to adopt if they meet the qualifications of a stable home environment, financial security and have a strong support network of family and friends. However, few birthmothers will choose single parents when married couples are available.

Education: Classes and reading are required of adoptive families pertaining to parenting skills and adoption issues. Our goal is to prepare you to be the best parents possible for your child.

Finances: Adopting parents must be able to provide a financially stable home, demonstrated by a solid credit history and ability to live within their means.

Pregnancy: Before you begin the adoption process, you need to complete all your infertility treatments so you can truly be ready to be the best parent for your adopted child. If you become pregnant while in the adoption process, notify our office immediately. We will place your file on hold. When you are ready to consider adoption again – generally at least when your child is nearing their first birthday – call us to discuss re-activating your file.

Adoption of Subsequent Children: In order to have adequate time for attachment and bonding, it is important to have a minimum of one year with the child/ren in the home before beginning another adoption.